Finnegan, you have not yet truly sunk to the depths. For those wanting to plumb deeper into the abyss than Bud Slight or Dutch Gold, you should subject yourself to a trip to states where we have the Marianas trench of excremental beer. Our friends at A-B also produce Natural Light (a.k.a. Natty Light)which is the cheap swill that will slide under that limbo bar of taste set by BL with ease, and then there's Michelob Ultra, which allows you to slide even below Natty Light and spend more dough in the process.
The worst of the worst, IMO, was a product out of Wisconsin called Rhinelander. US$6 for a case of 24, including a 5-cent deposit on each bottle. I drank that during the worst of my impoverished college student days when I really couldn't afford anything else. It was tolerable ice cold, gave you a buzz, and I can't think of anything more positive to say. It had more flavor than any of these tasteless swills that have been mentioned here, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing. I made the mistake of taking a few bottles into the shower with my date at the time, and we both gagged when we took our first sips. Mind you we'd been drinking this swill for a little while already, so it's not as if it should have been a surprise. But in the context of the shower, there was this unmistakable soap flavor that suddenly jumped out. Power of suggestion, I guess. She was done with the whole idea, but I figured somehow we might have splashed a little soap water into the first bottles, so carefully cracked another as a control and was rewarded(?) with the same impression. We tried this again later with Miller High Life, and it didn't do that. So there's the worst I ever had.
If anyone is familiar with the words of our national anthem, you'll find this amusing. Penned by a person who is now a Lutheran minister:
Oh say you can drink
for less than you think
It's Rhinelander beer
It's cheap and it's right here
For a quarter a brew
You can drink quite a few,
Be blitzed, but not poor,
What more could you ask for? [we know the answer to that now]
Oh say does that Rhinelander beer make great suds
In the land of the free, and the home...of the...studs.
