After dry hopping (including the Juniper berries) AND after tasting at a proper temperature (I tasted at near 0 degrees before) it actually has way more sweetness than I expected.
The FG is around 1.007 (I forgot to adjust for the temp difference). I think the juniper and the ethyl acetate levels make it seem sweeter than it's residual sweetness would indicate.
I froze the beer (which killed lots of yeast and dropped all of it to the bottom of the conical), and added a couple campden tablets to inhibit fermentation.
I was planning on adding a little honey to back sweeten it but I don't think it needs it any more; I can add a tiny bit at serving if I want anyway.
The ABV and ethyl acetate levels were too much so I pulled about 1/5th of the beer and heated it on the oven to 80C to boil off the ethyl acetate and ethanol in that portion and it is much less "burny" hot now although it still has plenty of ethyl acetate.
A touch of wine maker's acid blend and it'll be a nice hoppy juniper mead, I think. (Although I would've preferred lower ethyl acetate levels.)
-It's definitely been rescued. Thanks everyone!
Adam
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