Thanks for your wishes, guys.
Nothing wrong at all with brewing your own - I just don't.
As I'm sure you've all guessed the reference to brewing and beards is just to avoid the CAMRA stereotype among the masses.
Confession; about 15 years ago I did a couple of kit lager brews. Irish Continental Pils, if my memory serves me well. Bottle conditioned, it tasted pretty good, to me, at the time.